Overall you have done a really great job at learning the conventions of a thriller and including them effectively to create a sequence that evokes suspense in your audience.
There are some technicalities that detract from the overall effectiveness which I have listed below. Watching and re-watching your edit is essential to picking up the small details which all add to or detract from verisimilitude and creating a world that seems real to the viewer. Your storyline was clever and quite a tricky one to get across to the viewer. You have done a reasonable job in really trying to tell your story in a clever, visual way. I'm sure with slightly more time you may have really fine-tuned your finished product. Overall it is definitely a successful thriller sequence. Well done.
- Unfortunately you kept the old logo graphic which was the one where you can't properly see your AGE Productions name
- Sound levels needed slightly more tweaking. Shuffling sounds for walking in the first sequence are loud and almost distracting in comparison to the music. These could have been slightly adjusted.
- It could have been useful to have the alarm sound slightly earlier during the character's confusion scene. It takes a while for the audience to understand why he is confused. The alarm sounding earlier could have helped transition audience better into the character's reality of waking up in an alternative reality.
- Txts are initially too fast to read and don't make sense in the context of the story. Did you import the correct ones?
- Music contrasting between the happy life and the assassin's life works well. Both sound tracks are extreme which work well in creating very opposite / contrasting worlds
- Great sound effect choice for showing the brother on the file, this helps indicate to the audience that it represents something dire and sombre
- Theo walking cut with the main character on the phone could have slightly smoother edits. I like that you used lots of different shots of him and stuck to the 180' Rule aside from breaking continuity to have him walk past the window from the wrong direction.
- Phone conversation is very dark. This could have used some lighting to make use of seeing main character's face and helping audience identify with fear, anxiety and angst of the main character
- missed music opportunity with Theo walking towards house. The music that build tension in this scene starts so late into the sequence. The earlier you start that eery, tension/ suspense-building music, the more effect it will have on the audience.
- focus on the door is very effective and using close-up's to emphasise the looming intrusion is effective and clever
- sound effect of the knife at the end is also effective
- nice graphics that are in-keeping with theme and tone of the short film, used in the credits
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ReplyDeleteHi Gilmark
ReplyDeleteOverall Grade :
15/20 (Grade 4)
Comments:
Overall you have done a really great job at learning the conventions of a thriller and including them effectively to create a sequence that evokes suspense in your audience.
There are some technicalities that detract from the overall effectiveness which I have listed below. Watching and re-watching your edit is essential to picking up the small details which all add to or detract from verisimilitude and creating a world that seems real to the viewer. Your storyline was clever and quite a tricky one to get across to the viewer. You have done a reasonable job in really trying to tell your story in a clever, visual way. I'm sure with slightly more time you may have really fine-tuned your finished product. Overall it is definitely a successful thriller sequence. Well done.
- Unfortunately you kept the old logo graphic which was the one where you can't properly see your AGE Productions name
- Sound levels needed slightly more tweaking. Shuffling sounds for walking in the first sequence are loud and almost distracting in comparison to the music. These could have been slightly adjusted.
- It could have been useful to have the alarm sound slightly earlier during the character's confusion scene. It takes a while for the audience to understand why he is confused. The alarm sounding earlier could have helped transition audience better into the character's reality of waking up in an alternative reality.
- Txts are initially too fast to read and don't make sense in the context of the story. Did you import the correct ones?
- Music contrasting between the happy life and the assassin's life works well. Both sound tracks are extreme which work well in creating very opposite / contrasting worlds
- Great sound effect choice for showing the brother on the file, this helps indicate to the audience that it represents something dire and sombre
- Theo walking cut with the main character on the phone could have slightly smoother edits. I like that you used lots of different shots of him and stuck to the 180' Rule aside from breaking continuity to have him walk past the window from the wrong direction.
- Phone conversation is very dark. This could have used some lighting to make use of seeing main character's face and helping audience identify with fear, anxiety and angst of the main character
- missed music opportunity with Theo walking towards house. The music that build tension in this scene starts so late into the sequence. The earlier you start that eery, tension/ suspense-building music, the more effect it will have on the audience.
- focus on the door is very effective and using close-up's to emphasise the looming intrusion is effective and clever
- sound effect of the knife at the end is also effective
- nice graphics that are in-keeping with theme and tone of the short film, used in the credits